Thursday, 7 April 2011

teeth, jelly belly and love

Think I forgot to mention the other day that the twins now have to little teeth on the bottom set. Olivia got hers first, it was like at 9am nothing was there and then at around 12pm she opened her mouth and there they were! Beau's came a week or so later and now they both look like gummy baby pensioners - our little Benjamin and Benjamima button.

Their vocab has progressed from da da da to buh buh buh (Beau) and Ruh ruh ruh, grrr grrr, ahh ahhh ahhhhhhh (Olivia) It's funny that no matter how many times I here them it always makes me giggle. I can't wait until they say their first words, hopefully one will begin with m and finish with y.

My exercise routine of late is a bit sporadic which has had dire consequences on my body - there's only so many excuses 1, body changes after having babies. 2, metabolism changes after  having babies, 3, too busy with babies after having babies. No basically, before I had the twins I was exercising every day for at least 2 hrs, now I exercise 3 days a week, if lucky maybe 4, but nothing like the intensity I once did. The thing is, I'm probably still eating just as much though and quite late I night (10pm). I feel utterly horrid, today I sat down and felt my stomach roll over my jeans. When I slide my jeans off, I can feel my back fat do a little tremble as my clothes pass by.

Some of you may scoff and possibly sneer because to you I may look slim, but I know the difference and I feel so uncomfortable, even going to the gym yesterday couldn't shake off this feeling.

So, we're off to Wales this weekend and there I intend to start my new regime, don' know what it is yet, but something has to change as I'm pretty miserable.

Not been a  great week really, Me and Rick didn't talk for a couple of days, which derived from tiredness and frustration. We had a bad night with Olivia, she would only go to sleep if we held her but as soon as we put her down, she screamed - not just cried - screamed. We were taking it in turns but it gets to the point that it's so many times that you start arguing about whose been up the most and then it leads on to who does what and more of.

Having babies is a real test on your relationship, both partners have to make sacrifices and it's hard not to wind each other up when you haven't had a full nights sleep for about 9 months. Some times it's really difficult to find the time to talk, so things build up and then get a little sour and you find that you have start from scratch again and try and compromise or find a solution that suits both.

Having children does enrich a relationship, it gives you new things to look forward to, but it can also take things away from you as a couple as you get so caught up in the lives of your children. I'm scared of losing that closeness that we have, it's very easy to let that drift away when you have another (be it important) focus.

My mum and dad were great parents and clearly loved each other, but their lives revolved around me and my two brothers. Dad worked hard to give us a nice life and mum devoted herself to being a good mum emotionally. I just wonder how much of an impact that we had on their relationship and had mum still been alive what things would be like for them after we all moved out. Would they have to get to know each other again - would they still have things in common, would they be the same people?

Of course, no relationship is perfect, so they say, and I think you have to work hard at it, but not for kids - for each other, because at the end of the day you only have each other and I know I can only really rely on Rick and I hope that he feels the same way.

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
~A.A. Milne

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